Every once in a while, a conspiracy theory comes along that's so emotionally satisfying I have no choice but to present it as fact.
Consider the latest Twitter conspiracy theory making the rounds: that Melania Trump is using a body double and has been doing it for months.
Melania, the theory goes, scorns Washington as well as her husband and has generously offered her body double for use at public events.
Girl, we get it. And while almost internet conspiracies are trash, there's even some evidence for this one that makes it ... almost ... potentially ... not embarrassing to think about?
Gumshoes, let's investigate.
The theory appears to have kicked off over the weekend, when respected Guardian columnist Marina Hyde tweeted this:
Hyde could very well have been kidding. That didn't stop the sad people of Twitter, desperate for some old school dumb news to cling to, from taking the conspiracy one billion steps further and advancing it as fact.
The theory took off when a Twitter account we can obviously trust, BuyLegalMeds.com, proposed the exact same theory on Wednesday. BuyLegalMeds.com, a self-identified "Cannapreneeur" poised to become the Nate Silver of conspiracy theories, proposed some evidence that, prima facie, is damning:
Tweet may have been deleted
Oh, Melania. We would so love to believe that you've left your husband to live in a golden palace, where you can wear your glasses in the bathroom while quietly subtweeting your husband. There are so many people out there who want you to divorce him and continue to use his credit card to order Seamless. I mean, this is the kind of fantasy revenge theory every #Resistance member should hold onto for as long as they possibly can.
Fake Melania Trump leaving the press conference after securing the bag pic.twitter.com/SYsYUnH2Cn
— Spooky X (@XLNB) October 18, 2017
The Melania body double conspiracy theory is the new "Avril Lavigne was replaced by a lookalike" in the sense that I'm very here for it
— 👻 Crypt Deadman 👻 (@ChrisDStedman) October 18, 2017
Me: I'm a rational human being who only deals with FACTS
— Sam Stryker (@sbstryker) October 18, 2017
Twitter: The White House is using a Melania Trump body double
Me: pic.twitter.com/L6JK8kzlxB
Me: I can't deal with all this fake news, it's harming American democracy
— Sam Stryker (@sbstryker) October 18, 2017
Twitter: Melania Trump has a body double
Me: pic.twitter.com/QMXROMyRe8
Alas, there are a few reasons to be skeptical of the conspiracy. Lenses can easily distort a person's face, as can contouring makeup. This is a screenshot from a video we're working with. And using advanced searchbar technology, we found these photos taken on the same day:
Evidence A:
Credit: ron sachs-pool/Getty Images Evidence B:
Credit: ron sachs-pool/Getty Images I mean c'mon now this is getting embarrassing:
Credit: ron sachs-pool/Getty Images For now, I have to rate this theory as "total garbage." My condolences to the poor, educated people at Politifact who will now be forced to debunk this theory, only to get screamed at by the internet.
That being said, it's still theoretically possible that Melania does use a body double and we don't have the evidence for it yet. Life is hard. The news is bad. I won't stop believin'. Neither should you.
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